He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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