TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
