i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i've created a new STD.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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