anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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