Four minutes until I can fart!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize