Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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