your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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