Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
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Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
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And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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