He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize