your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
