just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
