Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
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