In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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