So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
