my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
