If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
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