so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
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You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
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i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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