It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
