Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize