she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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