His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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