I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
