actually, I'm a sock model
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
