Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
