how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
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well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
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...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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