you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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