I have demons in me.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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