Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
We left an ass print on the piano.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?