So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.