I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring