Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
