Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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