How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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