No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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