nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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