I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
