What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He has the fingertips of a God
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