I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
