it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
