My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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