I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
