I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
