The maid of honor just puked.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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