Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
