Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
