I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
