Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
