thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
