imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
