Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
