sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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