i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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