I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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