Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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