If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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