FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
