I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
