Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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