I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just gargled with NyQuil
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
