There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
