Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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