I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
