Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
