Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize