i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize