So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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