I will die if light touches me.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
