Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
